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讓每天過得更快樂要做的7件事

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讓每天過得更快樂要做的7件事

Be positive
"Positivity makes you more attractive and resilient, with lower blood pressure, less pain, fewer colds, better sleep. Increase the number of positive emotions in your day, however fleeting. One can lead to another and so on, until we're in an upward spiral of positivity. Take a moment to find the good in a situation. Don't over-generalise ('I can never hold down a relationship'), jump to conclusions ('I'll never finish this job') or ruminate endlessly. Any healthy distraction – a run, a swim – that lifts your mood is good."

積極
“積極能夠讓人更加富有活力,更具吸引力,並且還能夠幫助人降低血壓、減輕疼痛、減少感冒紀律、獲得更好的睡眠。所以一天之中要多幾次積極的情緒,即使時間很短也沒關係。一次積極的情緒會引發出下一次,然後是下下次、下下下次……直到我們的積極性得到很大的提高。遇到什麼事情的時候,花點時間想想它好的一面。不要過分概括(比如想“我永遠都控制不好這種關係”),不要妄下定論(比如想“這工作永遠都做不完”),也不要總是不停地思考某件事。任何健康的、能夠分散你注意力的事情都會使你的情緒好起來,比如跑步、游泳。”“

讓每天過得更快樂要做的7件事 第2張

Be brave
"Studies show people regret not having done things much more than they regret things they did. Why? We can rationalise an excess of courage more easily than an excess of cowardice, because we can console ourselves by thinking of the things we learned from the experience. We hedge our bets when we should blunder forward. In fact, large-scale assaults on our happiness – a lost job or failed marriage – trigger our psychological defences (and hence promote our happiness) more than smaller annoyances. The paradoxical consequence is that it is sometimes easier to achieve a positive view of a very bad experience than a bad one. And yet we rarely choose action over inaction. Knowing we overestimate the impact of almost every life event makes me a bit braver and more relaxed because I know what I'm worrying about probably won't matter as much as I think it will."

勇敢
“研究顯示,如果有件事人們想做而沒去做,那麼他們的悔意會比因他們做過的事情而產生的悔意強烈的多。爲什麼呢?我們能夠更容易爲冒失找到合理的理由而不是過分懦弱,因爲我們可以安慰自己說我們從這一次經歷中吸取了教訓。在前進過程中犯錯的時候我們可以保護自己。實際上,對我們的快樂產生重大影響的事情,比如失去工作或者婚姻失敗,要比那些普普通通的小煩惱更能引發我們的心理防禦能力(從而提高我們的快樂感)。這一矛盾的後果就是,有時候面對一件非常糟糕的事情中我們的態度反而要比面對一般糟糕的事情更積極。還有,我們很少選擇面對事情無所作爲。瞭解到我們高估了生活中某些事情對我們的影響後,我們會變得勇敢一些,也會更加輕鬆,因爲我們知道我們擔心的問題可能並不會像我們想的那樣糟糕。


Meditate
"Meditation helps us better manage our reactions to stress and recover more quickly from disturbing events. This is key to happiness. One study took people in high-stress jobs and taught them meditation for eight weeks: they felt happier after and even remembered why they liked their work. Before, they were too stressed to see it. Beginners can benefit from meditation, but it takes practice to see real benefits. I recently spent an evening with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, the Tibetan lama dubbed 'the happiest man in the world'. How did he get that way? Practice. Observing his behaviour, I noticed he recovered quickly from upsets and this is one way science measures a happy temperament. If you start to get upset, let go of the negative thought, deal with the problem – and then let go of that."

冥想
“沉思能夠幫助我們更好地控制自己在壓力下的反應,並能夠使我們從不安中儘快得恢復過來。這是快樂的關鍵。有一項研究是讓人們從事高壓力工作,並在8個星期裏教他們冥想之法,研究結果是他們感到快樂,甚至記得爲什麼會喜歡這一工作。在此之前,甚至僅僅想到這種工作,他們都會倍感壓力。初學者可以受益於冥想,但需要多加練習才能真正從中受益。最近我曾與西藏喇嘛Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche這個被‘世界上最幸福的人’呆了一個晚上。那麼他是怎麼做到的呢?練習。通過觀察他的行爲,我注意到他能夠迅速從不安中恢復過來,這是一種科學的檢驗快樂氣質的方法。如果有什麼事情讓你不安,不要有那些消極的想法,而是要解決問題,然後這件事就過去了。”


Be kind to yourself
"The way we relate to ourselves – kindly or critically – has a major influence on our wellbeing, contentment and ability to cope with setbacks. If you're feeling self-critical, stop, take a few breaths, slow down and try to think of the ideal qualities you might have, such as kindness, warmth, gentleness. It doesn't matter whether or not you actually have these qualities – like an actor taking on a part, feel yourself become them. In a journal, make a note of what happens to your self-criticism when you do this. Then turn your attention to what you're about to do."

善待自己
“我們對待自己的方式,寬容或者挑剔,對我們的保持良好狀態、產生滿足感以及解決困難的能力有很大的影響。如果你正在進行自我批判,那麼停下來,做幾個深呼吸,放鬆,努力去想像那些你理想中的良好品質,比如善良、熱情、溫柔等等。你是不是真的具有這些品質並不重要——你要像演員進入角色一樣,感覺自己變成了那樣子。你可以寫日記記下你這樣做對你的自我批判有什麼影響,然後把注意力集中到你打算去做的事情上。”

Use your pessimism
"Defensive pessimists expect the worst and expend lots of energy mentally rehearsing how things might go wrong. But by doing this, they can improve the odds of achieving their goals. It's a useful skill for everyone to learn. Imagine what might go wrong in a situation by focusing on specifics. If you're terrified of public speaking, try to articulate whether you're afraid of fumbling with your notes or tripping on your way to the podium. Then imagine what happens next: if you drop your notes, will someone laugh? By doing this you shift the attention from feelings to facts, so you can plan effectively to avoid (or at least deal with) negative outcomes if they occur."

利用悲觀主義
“防禦性悲觀主義者會把事情往最壞的地方想,並且他們會花費很多精力想象事情會怎樣變得糟糕起來。但是這樣做會使他們更可能實現自己的目標。這種技巧對每個人來說都是值得學習的。把注意力放在細節上,然後想象一種狀況中哪些細節可能會出錯。如果你害怕在公衆場合發言,那麼試着想清楚你害怕的事情,比如忘了臺詞或者在上登上領獎臺的時候絆倒等等。然後想象接下來會發生的事情:如果你忘了臺詞,會不會有人笑?這樣做可以將你的注意力從現實中轉移出來,這樣你就能有效的進行規劃,以避免(或者至少能夠處理)這些事情發生時產生的消極後果。”

Find a calling
"Work less, earn less, accumulate less and 'consume' more family time, holidays and other enjoyable activities. Pursue goals but remember, it's the journey, not the end result, that counts. If your work is not a calling, can you reframe it to see it as more than just a pay cheque? If not, try to find a noble purpose outside work – religion, teaching, political campaigning. Find activities that fully engage your attention and you're good at: singing in a choir, painting, driving fast on a curvy country road. This is known as 'flow'. Happiness is not a shallow state of feeling chipper all the time, or something you can achieve directly. We need love, work and a connection to something larger. Get these conditions right, then wait."

找個口號

“少工作,少掙錢,少攢錢,增加家庭時間、節假日和其他有趣活動。追求成功,但要記住,重要的是過程而不是結果,這很重要。如果你的工作不是一個口號,你能重新審視它,把它看得只是比一張支票重要的事情嗎?如果不能,那就努力在工作之外找個更高尚的目標,比如參加宗教、教學、政治活動。尋找能夠完全引起你注意並且你擅長的活動,比如參加合唱團,學習繪畫,在蜿蜒的鄉村公路上飛快的騎自行車。這就是所謂的“flow”。快樂並不是時時刻刻感到快活,或許有時候你能夠直接得到快樂。我們需要愛、工作以及重要事件之間的聯繫。適時達到這些條件,然後等待。


Act happy

"My research compares happy and unhappy people, and underpinning this is the 40% solution: the degree of happiness it is within our power to change, through how we act and think. I've identified 12 happiness-enhancing activities – things happy people do naturally. They may sound corny, but they're scientifically proven. You don't have to do them all – decide which fit you best. One, express gratitude. Two, cultivate optimism: visualise a future in which everything has turned out the way you want it, then write it down. Three, avoid obsessing over things or paying too much attention to what others are doing. Four, practise acts of kindness – more than you're used to. Five, make time for friends; be supportive and loyal. Six, develop coping strategies: write down your feelings when you're feeling upset and try to see that traumatic events often make us stronger. Seven, learn to forgive. Eight, immerse yourself in activities and be open to new ones. Nine, savour life's joys – linger over a pastry rather than mindlessly consuming it. Ten, work towards meaningful goals. Eleven, practise religion and spirituality. And finally, exercise. You won't see the results from these activities right away: like anything important, you have to work at it."

快樂的生活
“我對快樂和不快樂的人進行了研究比較,證實了40%解決方案,即我們有能力通過自己的行動和思考改變的快樂程度。我已經確定了12種能夠增強快樂感的活動,都是些快樂的人自然而然中會做的事情。這些事聽起來很陳腐,但卻被證明是很科學的。你只要找到最適合你做的那幾件事情來做就行,並不需要這12件中的每件都做。第一,表達謝意。第二,培養樂觀的態度,想象未來生活中每件事都跟你渴望的一樣,然後想象中的未來生活寫下來。第三,避免被過去的事情困擾或者過於關注別人的行爲。第四,善意實踐,要比你平時做的更多。第五,和朋友們相處,要對朋友支持、忠誠。第六,制定應對策略:當你感到不安時寫下你的感受,並要努力明白,讓我們受傷的事情往往會使我們更加堅強。第七,學會寬恕。第八,讓自己充滿活力,接受新事物。第九,品嚐生活的樂趣,慢慢品嚐糕點要比漫不經心的大口吞嚥過量糕點更能讓你感到享受。第十,爲了某個有意義的目標而工作。第十一,培養宗教信仰和精神支柱。最後一點,鍛鍊。做這些事並不能讓你立即看到效果,就像其他重要的事情一樣,你必須努力去爭取。”

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