如何找到“達西先生” 簡•奧斯丁的戀愛指南

A lot has changed since Jane Austen wrote about women's quest to find a perfect match in 19th century Britain.
世事變遷，滄海桑田，如今的時代與簡·奧斯丁所描繪的那個女子們尋覓完美伴侶的19世紀的英國已經大不一樣了。

But one fan of the writer believes many of Austen's lessons on love still ring true today. She reveals how much of the advice applicable to Regency-era courting is just as relevant to the Tinder generation...
但是作家的一位粉絲相信，奧斯丁教導我們的許多關於愛情的知識在當今仍然適用。這位女粉絲告訴我們，那些本來適用於攝政時期的戀愛原則仍與今天的“陌陌時代”息息相關。

Rule One: Be A Woman, Not A Girl
原則一：做一個女人，而不是小女孩

In Persuasion, Austen shows us the womanly fortitude of Anne Elliot is far superior to the girlish shenanigans of Louisa Musgrove. Louisa's flirtation with Captain Wentworth does not work, either to win his heart or to keep her dignity - little wonder she ends the novel by literally having her head examined!
在《勸導》一書中，奧斯丁告訴我們，安·艾略特那種女性的堅毅品質遠優於路易莎·姆斯格雷夫那樣的小女生伎倆。路易莎對溫特沃斯上尉的挑逗不起任何作用，她既沒有贏得他的心，也沒有保留住自己的尊嚴——難怪在小說的結尾作者真要給她做腦部檢查！

Anne, by contrast, follows her own much more noble course and, in doing so, gives a lesson to us all. We should put away those childish tricks and conduct ourselves as an equal to our man.
相反，安遵循着自己更高尚的多的求愛方法，這樣以來，也給我們都上了一課。我們應該放棄那些小孩子式的伎倆，舉手投足都要把自己當成與男人平等的人。

Rule Two: Find A Man, Not A Guy
原則二：找一個男子漢，而不是花心男

There is a particular kind of creature who looks like a man on first encounter but who is, in fact, a very different species. Jane Austen would have called this creature a 'puppy' or a 'coxcomb'; we would likely refer to him as a guy.
有一種特殊的人，初次結識時你覺得他似乎是一個男子漢，可事實上，他是一種完全不同的人。簡·奧斯丁把這種人稱爲“小狗狗”或者“花心鬼”；我們可能更願意將這種人稱爲花心男。

But however we choose to name him, we should always take care to avoid him!
無論我們用什麼名字來成糊狀這種人，我們都要隨時留心遠離他們！

Mr Knightley ends that novel in the hope that Frank Churchill may mature under Jane's guidance, but he is wrong. Boys may grow into men, yes, but guys never do!
在《愛瑪》一書的結尾，奈特利先生還對弗蘭克·丘吉爾心存希望，指望他會在簡的引導之下成熟起來，但是他錯了。小男孩也許可以長成男子漢，花心男卻永遠不會成爲男子漢！

小編注：小說《愛瑪》中，簡·費爾法克斯是一個完美的女性形象，完全具有嫁給一個好丈夫的優勢。然而,她最終卻嫁給了自私自利、名聲不好的弗蘭克·丘吉爾。Rule Three: Listen to What They Say
原則三：聽聽媽媽們的意見

Pride and Prejudice begins with one of the most famous lines in English literature - 'It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.'
《傲慢與偏見》一書的開場白是英語文學中最著名的句子之一：“一個單身男子，坐擁萬貫家財，自然欲求妻室，此道理普世公認。”

Indeed he is! It seems that women like Mrs Bennet - and like your mother and mine - do know a thing or two after all! Time-tested rules are never secret, rather, they are universally acknowledged.
確是如此！像班奈特夫人——還有你的媽媽和我的媽媽——這樣的人畢竟懂得多！這些經過時間考驗的真理永遠都不會是祕密，相反，是全天下人都知道的。

Rule Four: Don't Just Sit There, Say Something!
原則四：別光坐着，展開行動

'Sometimes, men just want to drive in silence without saying a word. Let them. Maybe he's thinking about how he's going to propose to you one day.'
“有時候，男人就想一句話也不說，陷入沉思。隨他們去吧。或許他正想着，哪天他怎麼向你求婚。”

But for the Jane Austen woman, the idea of sitting demurely in the passenger seat, not just of the car but of the conversation, is, frankly, offensive!
但是對簡·奧斯丁來說，讓女人在車裏，乃至在一場交談之中，只是端莊的坐在乘客的位置上，簡直就是不可理喻。

Elizabeth Bennet, for one, would never do any such thing, and sparkles throughout Pride and Prejudice with her lively and witty repartee - 'Tease him, laugh at him' is how she deals with the stand-offish Mr Darcy.
比如說，伊麗莎白·班奈特就覺不會這樣，在《傲慢與偏見》一書中貫穿着她生動睿智，妙語連珠的形象——對拒人千里的達西先生，她的對策是“挑弄他，嘲笑他”。

Rule Five: : No Girlfriends
原則五：防閨蜜

Sense and Sensibility's Lucy Steele is a great enthusiast for 'girl-talk'. But 'girl-talk' has that toxic tendency of making us more indifferent to what is real, transporting us to a realm of hyperbole in which nothing much matters - hence Lucy's utter carelessness as to which of the Ferrars brothers she ends up getting married to. Steer clear of 'girl-talk,' says Jane Austen, and keep your romantic analyses for the only one who merits them: your man.
《理智與情感》中的露西·斯蒂爾非常熱衷於“女生間的悄悄話”，但是“女生間的悄悄話”有其負面作用，會讓我們對現實越來越漠不關心，讓我們陷入一種認爲一切都無所謂的誇張的思維方式之中——所以露西纔會毫不在意自己最終會嫁給法拉利衆兄弟之中的哪一個。遠離“女生間的悄悄話”，簡·奧斯丁說，把你關於愛情的思考只留給那個值得這些思考的人——你的愛人。