諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第11章Part 1

"Think about it," he said. And suddenly it was a solution: a way to hold on to her, document hismanhood and break out of the girl's spell — all in one. He put the tips of Sethe's fingers on hischeek. Laughing, she pulled them away lest somebody passing the alley see them misbehaving inpublic, in daylight, in the wind.
Still, he'd gotten a little more time, bought it, in fact, and hoped the price wouldn't wreck him. Likepaying for an afternoon in the coin of life to come.
They left off playing, let go hands and hunched forward as they left the alley and entered the street. The wind was quieter there but the dried-out cold it left behind kept pedestrians fast-moving, stiffinside their coats. No men leaned against door frames or storefront windows. The wheels ofwagons delivering feed or wood screeched as though they hurt. Hitched horses in front of thesaloons shivered and closed their eyes. Four women, walking two abreast, approached, their shoesloud on the wooden walkway. Paul D touched Sethe's elbow to guide her as they stepped from theslats to the dirt to let the women pass.
Half an hour later, when they reached the city's edge, Sethe and Paul D resumed catching andsnatching each other's fingers, stealing quick pats on the behind. Joyfully embarrassed to be thatgrownup and that young at the same time.
Resolve, he thought. That was all it took, and no motherless gal was going to break it up. No lazy,stray pup of a woman could turn him around, make him doubt himself, wonder, plead or inced of it, that he could do it, he threw his arm around Sethe's shoulders and squeezed. Shelet her head touch his chest, and since the moment was valuable to both of them, they stopped andstood that way — not breathing, not even caring if a passerby passed them by. The winter light was low. Sethe closed her eyes. Paul D looked at the black trees lining the roadside, theirdefending arms raised against attack. Softly, suddenly, it began to snow, like a present come downfrom the sky. Sethe opened her eyes to it and said, "Mercy." And it seemed to Paul D that it was —a little mercy — something given to them on purpose to mark what they were feeling so theywould remember it later on when they needed to.
Down came the dry flakes, fat enough and heavy enough to crash like nickels on stone. It alwayssurprised him, how quiet it was. Not like rain, but like a secret.

"考慮一下吧。"他說。突然間柳暗花明了：有法子抓住她不放、證明他的男子氣概並且擺脫那個姑娘的魔力——一箭三雕。他把塞絲的指尖放在自己臉上。她大笑着抽回手，以免給過路人看見他們行爲不端，在公共場合，在光天化日之下，在刺骨寒風中。
現在，他仍然擁有一點時間，其實是買的，但願那價錢不至於毀了他。就彷彿買來一個下午，預支的卻是將來的生活費。
他們停止了嬉鬧，放開手，聳着肩出了巷子，走上大街。那裏的風小一些，不過風留下的乾冷使得那些縮在外套裏發僵的過路人行色匆匆。沒有人靠在門框上或者商店櫥窗前。送食品或木料的大車的軲轆好像怕冷似的，吱吱嘎嘎的。酒店門前套住的馬閉上眼睛打着哆嗦。四個女人兩兩並肩走了過來，她們的鞋踩在木板人行道上嗒嗒作響。保羅·D拉着塞絲的胳膊肘，帶她從木板路走下土路，給女人們讓道。
半小時之後，他們到了城郊，塞絲和保羅·D又得以相互把手指頭抓來拽去，不時趁機摸摸屁股。這麼大了還這麼孩子氣，他們又興奮又難爲情。
決定了，他想。就這麼定了，哪個沒孃的丫頭都不能搞破壞。哪個懶惰的喪家狗女人都不能擺佈他，讓他顧慮重重、不知所措、搖尾乞憐或者懺悔表白。他堅信自己能夠成功，就摟住塞絲的肩膀，緊緊箍着。她把腦袋靠上他的胸脯。這個時刻對於他們兩個都很珍貴，於是他們停下來，就那樣站着——屏住呼吸，甚至不在乎有沒有人路過。冬日的光線是黯淡的。塞絲閉上眼睛。保羅·D看着路邊成行的黑樹，它們自衛的手臂高舉着抵禦寒冷的襲擊。悄悄地，忽然開始下雪了，宛如從天而降的一件禮物。塞絲睜開兩眼看着，說道："恩惠啊。"而在保羅·D看來，那確實是——一點恩惠——專門賜給他們，爲他們此刻的感情標上記號，以便日後需要的時候他們能夠記起。
乾燥的雪花落下來，又厚又重，簡直可以像五分硬幣一樣砸在石頭上。雪總是讓他驚訝，雪是多麼恬靜啊。不像雨，而像是一個祕密。