測一測你的老闆是最佳僱主嗎?
We've done our best to identify corporations that are a pleasure to work for. But we couldn't possibly list them all. Maybe your company, too, is a party on a half shell! Take this quiz and find out.
我們已經竭盡全力找出能讓員工樂不思蜀的公司，但我們不可能把它們一網打盡。或許你所在的公司就是一個快樂之所！到底是不是，做做下面這個小測試就能找出答案。
When I go to work in the morning, I ...
早晨去上班時，我會……
A. Smile a little secret smile to myself.
A. 自顧自地偷笑。
B. Do a crossword puzzle on the train.
B. 在車上玩填字遊戲。
C. Have a sphincter the size of a pinhead.
C. 心情鬱悶。
The clothing I am expected to wear to work ...
我上班時間穿着的工作服……
A. Is a badge of honor. I wear it to sleep.
A. 是我的榮譽勳章，我睡覺都不願意脫下來。
B. Is a uniform. All institutions have them. Get over it.
B. 只是制服而已。每家公司都有。將就穿吧。
C. Makes me feel like a trained monkey.
C. 讓我覺得自己像只馬戲團的猴子。
My boss ...
我的老闆……
A. Is a titan of Excellence. God bless her.
A. 是個無比優秀的偉大人物。願上帝保佑她。
B. Is a smart guy and can hold a drink.
B. 腦子很好使，酒量也不錯。
C. Would club a baby harp seal.
C.甚至會用大棒子痛毆豎琴海豹寶寶。
Which would you rather have: free beverages or a pension?
你願意要免費飲料還是補貼？
A. Did you know that we get an entire kitchen full of free food and drinks? I don't even leave the building for lunch! I just work straight through! What a perk!
A. 知道嗎，我們公司的廚房裏全都是免費的食物和飲料。我連吃午餐都不用離開公司！我可以一直工作到下班！公司福利真是太好了！
B. I miss my old pension plan, which was taken away in 2006, but I understand why the company did it.
B. 我懷念以前的補貼計劃。它在2006年被取消了。但我理解公司的苦衷。
C. I can buy my own Gatorade, thanks.
C. 我自己買得起飲料，謝謝。
My understanding of the overall strategic goals of the corporation ...
我對公司總體戰略目標的瞭解…
A. Is fleshed out for me at regular meetings with my boss, who is fully briefed by his boss, and so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby.
A. 來自於我的上司在例會上向我所作的詳細介紹，他的上司則向他作了完整的介紹，以此類推。
B. It's above my pay grade.
B. 這個問題超越了我的薪金等級範圍。
C. Beyond making money, you mean?
C. 你是指除了賺錢以外還有什麼嗎？
The length of my average workday ...
日常工作的時長……
A. Is basically whatever I think it should be, as long as I get the job done. Some days I even work from home. In my bathrobe!
A.基本上由我自己決定，只要我把活兒幹完就行。有時我甚至穿着睡袍在家工作！
B. Nine and a half hours. In at 8:30. Out at 6. For the past 15 years.
B. 9個半小時。早上8點半上班，下午6點下班，過去15年來一貫如此。
C. Expands to fill all available space, blocking out the sun, until I exist in a formless, shapeless void filled with nothing but that which must be done.
C.擠佔了全部空閒時間。起早貪黑，直到精疲力竭、頭暈腦脹，整天只想着必須要完成的工作。
Do you feel secure about your employment status?
你是否擔心飯碗不保？
A. I don't really think about it too much. I know that if anything bad were to happen, the corporation would take care of me.
A. 我不怎麼考慮這個問題。我知道，如果形勢不妙，公司會照顧我的。
B. Sure. Now and then. But in a way, getting fired would be a form of liberation I wouldn't mind exploring.
B. 當然，有時會這麼想。但從另一方面看，被炒魷魚相當於獲得了自由！我不介意探索外面的世界。
C. Night and day. My entire persona is bound up with this screwy job. I don't even know who I am without it.
C. 一天到晚都在擔心。我的整個人生都和這份該死的工作綁在了一起。要是沒有這份工作，我甚至不知道自己是誰。
My combination of benefits and perks ...
我的福利津貼……
A. Is obscene!
A. 肥得流油！
B. Is standard for somebody at my position in a company of this size.
B. 處於同等規模公司、同等職位的正常水平。
C. No
C. 別提了。Scoring: For each (a) answer, give your corporation one point. You are obviously an executive of some kind, and your answers have absolutely no bearing on the quality of life for average people in your corporation. For each (b) answer, give your corporation two points. The Organization has you trained. Whatever it's doing, you are contributing to it. Finally, for every time you chose (c）, give your company five points. Your life has been ground down to a nub, but you still identify with the entity that is your bane and your beacon. The enterprise must succeed with crazy people like you indentured to it. Keep up the good work.
得分：每次選擇答案A，僱主得一分。顯然你屬於管理層，你的答案肯定與公司普通員工的生活質量沒有關係。每次選擇答案B，僱主得兩分。公司對你進行了培訓。無論公司從事的是什麼行業，你都是一員干將。最後，每次選擇答案C，僱主得五分。你的生活很不如意，但你在把公司當成禍根的同時，仍然把它看作自己的燈塔。擁有像你這樣瘋狂的員工，你的公司肯定能獲得成功。繼續努力。
