經典的一分鐘英語笑話
笑話作爲一種消遣的藝術,具有生活與藝術的雙重屬性,需要回歸日常生活的審美語境下加以研究。下面小編整理了一分鐘英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
藉口(中英)
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There is no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to him- self and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
一個人剛剛買了一輛奔馳車，準備到州與州之間的公路上來一個夜晚兜風。他來到了最高處，微風輕輕拂過了他的髮梢，這個人想讓自己的愛車大顯身手一番。指針指到了80英里/小時，突然，他看到了身後有一個閃爍的紅藍燈，“他們根本就別想追上我的奔馳。”他心想，於是加足了馬力。指針指到90,100,110,最後到了120，可那個燈還在後面閃着。
"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork，so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go”
“我到底在幹什麼呀!”他突然想到了什麼，馬上把車停在了路旁。警察走了過來，二話沒說就拿走了他的駕照，然後看了看駕照和車說:“我上晚班已很累了，這是我最後一次叫停車。你要是能給我一個我從來沒聽過的藉口，說明你爲什麼開這快車，我就不再做什麼記錄了，你就可以離開。”
“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” The man said "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“上星期我的妻子和一個警察跑了，”男的說，“我還以爲你追我，是想把我妻子還給我呢!”
"Have a nice night,” said the officer.
警察說:“過一個愉快的夜晚。”
經典的一分鐘英語笑話餐館裏(中英)
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage.”
一個德州人、一個俄國人和一個紐約人一起進了倫敦的一家餐館裏，服務員說:“打擾一下，如果您哪位想點牛排，我想我們無法滿足您，因爲現在缺貨。”
The Texan said, "What's a shortage?"
德州人問:“缺貨是什麼意思?”
The Russian said，"What's a steak?"
俄國人問:“牛排是什麼意思?”
The New Yorker said, "What’s excuse me?"
美國人問:“打擾一下是什麼意思?”
關於一分鐘英語笑話休息一天(中英)
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:
如果你要求休息一天，那就讓我們看看你一直都要求了些什麼:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in
which you already have 2 days off per week， leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
一年有365天可以用來工作。其中有52個星期，每個星期中你都可以休息2天，這樣就剩下了261天可以用來工作。可是在每天當中你又有16個小時不工作，算起來這就是170天的時間，還有91天。你每天還要有30分鐘休息喝杯咖啡的時間，算起來每年就是23天，還剩下68天。每天一個小時的午飯時間，你又用了6天，還剩下22天可以用來工作。
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available, for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I' ll be darned if you are going to take that day off !
通常每年你還要請2天的病假。這就只剩20天可用來工作。可我們每年還有5天的假日，這樣工作的時間就減到了15天。每年還有14天的假期，這就只剩下一天了，如果就這一天你還要休息，那我就要瘋了。
