一分鐘的英語笑話摘抄
笑話產生於日常生活語境之中,以消遣和娛樂爲目的,由普通民衆創造、表演和欣賞。下面小編整理了一分鐘的英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
我們不能相信律師嗎?(中英)
The justice department was trying a case against a company in New York，who had engaged the senior partner of the biggest law firm there, Alan Dean, to defend them. My father一in一law represented the Justice department.
司法部正在和一家紐約的公司打官司，那家公司請了當地最大的一家律師事物所的高級合夥人—阿曼·迪恩來爲他們辯護，而我岳父代表的是司法部
There was a LOT of evidence and each side had their own idea about how to refer to the exhibits. My father一in一law went by the school of 1A，1B，1C，2A，2B etc，while Alan Dean went by A，AA , B，BB，BBB，C.
雙方都找到了很多的證據，而且對如何排序這些證據都各有各的高招。我岳父用了lA,1B,1C,2A,2B等的符號排列，阿曼·迪恩用的是A,AA,B,BB,BBB,C的序號排列。
At one point, well into the trial, a piece of evidence for the defense was labeled “PPPP.” The judge was about half asleep but this reference caught his attention.
審判中，有這樣一條證據被標上了“PPPP”的符號，法官已經半睡半醒了，可一聽到這個標號，立刻提起了精神。
Judge: Mr. Dean，what number was that exhibit?
法官:迪恩先生，剛纔那條證據的標號是什麼?
Alan Dean: Pee pee pee pee your honor.
迪恩:PPPP，長官。
(The courtroom and judge giggles, every time pee pee pee pee is mentioned)
每當他一提到PPPP,整個法庭的人和法官都在笑。
Judge: (smirk) Mr. Dean, please abbreviate your exhibit names from, for example, pee pee pee pee to 4P's.
法官(傻笑着):迪恩先生，請你縮寫一下你的證據的標號，比如“PPPP”爲..4P"。
AD: Yes your honor. I’d like to display the next piece of evidence.
迪恩:好的，長官。我要出示下一條證據。
Judge: What number would that be, Mr. Dean?
法官:它的標號是多少?
AD: 4Q, your honor.
迪恩:4Q，長官。
一分鐘的英語笑話鑑賞家庭牧場(中英)
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch Unfortunately, after just afew years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
兩個姐妹，一個是金色頭髮，另一個是黑色頭髮，她們繼承了家裏的農場。不幸的是，幾年後，她們出現了經濟上臺階的困難。爲了能夠使農場不被銀行收回，她們必須去買一頭牛，這樣就可以餵養自己的家畜。
The brunette balances their checkbook，then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
黑頭髮的姐姐查看了賬簿，取出了最後的600美元，要到西邊的牧場去，因爲那裏有一個人在賣一頭好牛。
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’11 contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it.
離開之前，她告訴自己的妹妹:“到那以後，如果我決定了買牛，我就和你聯繫，你開車來找我，我們把牛拉回家。”姐姐到了那個農場，仔細地看了看牛，確定了要買這頭牛。
The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
賣牛的告訴她，他可以以599美元的價錢賣牛，可不能再低了。付過錢後，姐姐開車到了最近的一個鎮子上，給妹妹發電報告訴她這個消息。
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick一up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
她走進了電報局，說:“我想給我的妹妹發一封電報，告訴她我已經爲我們的農場買下了牛，我需要她把拖車掛在小貨車後，開到這裏，好把我們的牛拉回家。”
The telegraph operator explains thathe'1l be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
電報員說他很願意幫忙，然後說:"99分一個字。”姐姐在付過買牛的錢以後就只剩下1美元了。
She realizes that she'11 only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word，’‘comfortable’ .”
她想，這樣只能給妹妹發一個字，考慮了幾分鐘，她點點頭說:“我想給我妹妹發一個字 —‘舒適’(comfortable)。”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pick一 up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”
電報員搖搖頭說:“如果你就只發一個字 —‘舒適’，你的妹妹又怎麼能明白你想讓她把拖車掛在小貨車上，開到這裏拉牛回家呢?”
The brunette explains, “My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.
姐姐解釋道:“我妹妹是黃頭髮，她會慢慢的讀。”
一分鐘的英語笑話賞析休息喝咖啡的時間(中英)
A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”
一個辦公室裏最近來了一位金髮女孩，她的第一項任務就是出去買咖啡。她想第一天上班就出色地完成任務，於是抓起了一個大保溫瓶，迅速地跑向附近的咖啡店。見她手舉保溫瓶，咖啡店的店員馬上走過來幫她訂咖啡，女孩問:“這個能盛下6杯咖啡嗎?”店員看了看暖瓶，遲疑了一下說:“我看能盛下6杯。”
"Oh good!” the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”
“啊，太好了!”女孩放心的嘆了口氣。“好，那就給我兩杯黑咖啡，兩杯普通的咖啡，兩杯德卡夫咖啡……”
