3到5分鐘英語笑話閱讀

笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。本站小編分享3到5分鐘英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　3到5分鐘英語笑話：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

then green again，but her car did not start.

“What am I going to do now?” She said.

But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開着這輛車去購買食品。

因爲年紀大了，格林太太車子開得不快，不過她開車技術很高，從來沒有出過事。有時她的孫子孫女們對她說：“奶奶，您別開車了，我們可以送您去商店。”

但她總是說：“不，我喜歡開車。我已經開了五十年了，現在還不想撒手。”

上星期六，她看見交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。後來車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉爲黃色，然後轉爲紅色，又轉變爲綠色，可她的車子還是發動不起來。

“現在我該怎麼辦呢?”她說。

這時一位警察走過來，和氣地對她說：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒有一樣您喜歡嗎?”

　　3到5分鐘英語笑話：開窗

A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，悶死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

解決問題的好辦法 一位紳士正靜靜地坐在頭等包廂裏，有兩位女士走了進來。其中一位見窗戶開着，就在落坐之前把窗戶“把窗戶打開，”第二位女士說道，“如果沒有新鮮空氣，我會被憋死的。” “不能打開，”第一位說道，“如果它開着，我會被凍死的。” 一場爭吵開始，沒完沒了，直到那位紳士開口： “我們先讓窗戶關着，直到把這位女士憋死，然後再打開窗戶，直到把這位女士凍死。那以後，這兒就可以恢復平靜了。”

　　3到5分鐘英語笑話：Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

美 德

獲取研究生學位多年以後，我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天，電梯裏很擁擠，有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裏當學生起，20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

最後當電梯門打開時，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的，親愛的，”她低聲說道：“堅持不懈是一種美德。”

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