英語幽默笑話：Double Entendre at Play

"Madam," said the irate conductor to a totally incompetent woman cellist during rehearsal, "you have between your legs an instrument that could give pleasure to thousands…and all you seem able to do is scratch it."

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his pale lips moved. "Jake," she said.

"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."

But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."

"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake.

"It's all right. Everything's all right."

"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."

Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it," he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"

　　一個妻子的臨終懺悔

臨終的Becky躺在牀上，他的丈夫Jake守在她的旁邊，握着她冰涼的手，淚流滿面。

她蒼白的嘴脣翕動着，“Jake,”她說。

“安靜，”他快速地打斷她,“別說話。”

但是她堅持，“Jake,”她用疲憊的聲音說，“我不能不說話。我必須懺悔。”

“沒有什麼可懺悔的。”痛苦的Jake說。

“沒關係。一切都很好。”

不，不。我必須在平靜中死去。我必須懺悔，Jack,那就是我一直對你不忠。”

Jack撫摸着她的手說。“現在，Becky,別擔心。我已經知道一切了。”他嗚咽着，“要不我幹嘛毒死你。”