雙語故事:壞老闆會讓你噩夢連連

Is my boss sane? The probability is infinitely low as we might like. The boss may look quite normal. For brief moments, especially with clients, he may even act as such. Nevertheless, to those who are in on the story, nothing can entirely disguise that one has placed oneself in the hands of welldressed maniac.

我的老闆通情達理嗎？回答肯定的可能性比我們的期望低很多。你的老闆可能看上去很正常。在簡會上——尤其是有客戶在的時候，他可能表現得也很正常。然而，對於那些跟老闆“共處一室”的人來說，他們已經將自己置身於一個衣着光鮮的瘋子手中，這一切已經一覽無餘。

The first response of the recently hired employee is akin to1 a new bride who, only a few weeks after toasting her nuptials2 with 350 friends in a marquee reception with champagne and salmon en croute3, is slapped hard across the face by her husband. The forgivable response is to hope and get the blusher out.

對此，那些新員工的第一反應和新婚新娘的反應如出一轍：幾周前還在帳篷婚禮上享受着香檳和鮭魚麪包卷，和350 個朋友舉杯慶祝她的婚禮，而今卻迎來丈夫重重的一記耳光。而她只能希望並設法使紅紅的巴掌印早日褪去，算是原諒吧。

The varieties of insanity available to bosses are no less great than those available to parents. There is the overdeveloped desire to be liked, which leads them to shirk candid and prompt explanations of difficulties and to go in for sentimental embraces, which end up causing infinitely more damage than (the minor pain) they sought to avoid.

老闆身上的種種不理智之舉不亞於父母們展現出的瘋狂。他們期望被下屬喜歡的慾望過度膨脹，從而導致他們逃避對困難直言不諱而又及時的說明，而喜歡充滿柔情的擁抱，結果造成的損害比他們企圖避免的小傷害重很多倍。

Then there is paranoia. How much damage is caused in this world by fragile egos. Whatever the dangers of bumptious4 overconfidence, they are nothing next to the ravages brought about by a fragile self-esteem. It is this that will cause explosions of rage, intemperate waspish5 e-mails and snide6 remarks. Outwardly we live in a free democracy. But it is in the remit of every insane boss to set up miniature autocratic7 kingdoms of suffering, unapparent to outside observers, who can see nothing aside from magazines politely lined up in the lobby area.

還有偏執狂。這個世界上有多少傷害是由脆弱的自負造成的呀？不管自傲過了頭有多危險，和脆弱的自尊心造成的災難相比這都不算什麼。正是這種自尊才導致了怒火爆發、郵件過度尖酸、言辭刻毒。　　

To those cursed with one, the bad boss is an object ofconstant thought. One considers the byways of his psyche late into the night. One speculates about his childhood. One hopes for his conversion to humanity.

表面上，我們的工作環境自由而民主。其實，在每個瘋狂的老闆的職權範圍內都有一個小型的獨裁王國，其“國民”處於水深火熱之中，卻不爲外人所知——外人看到的只是休閒區規規矩矩地擺出的一本本雜誌。

Though it makes absolutely no sense, one might even harbor a belief that he might be listening to this and somehow be nudged thereby into turning over a new leaf.

對於那些不幸落入該國度的人來說，那個糟糕的老闆便是頭腦中揮之不去的陰影。他會思索老闆不爲人知的那些方面，直到深夜；他會推測老闆的童年生活；他希望老闆能變得人道。雖然這一切毫無意義，可他還是會僥倖地相信，也許老闆正在聆聽，說不定會因此洗心革面。