時尚雙語:不擅長的事，也一樣能幹得漂亮？
One of the common grouses I hear, hindering people from going into a particular challenge is that they believe they don’t have the “X-factor” to excel in it. Usually, it’s after one or two failed attempts in that same domain. Or something so new that they didn’t know what to expect. They’ll say things like “Nah, I’ve tried before and I know I suck”, “I’m just not cut out for that” or “I can never be as good as him” and abandon the whole idea just to save themselves the embarassment. Even when it’s something that’ll definitely expand their lives if they’ll just give it a(nother) try.
I admit I’m not spared of this too. Besides judging myself previously for lacking the talent in sales, I used to think I was a lousy dancer… hehehe. I was a member of the high school choir and during one of our overseas concerts, I was handpicked to take part in an all girls performance item. We had to sing and dance a little at the same time. A few of us - myself included - were so “stiff” that we had to be given remedial lessons in our female instructor’s hotel room every other night before the concert! Yes, we were that bad!
Hardly anyone would comment I’m a bad dancer now whenever my friends and I go clubbing. In case you’re wondering, nope, I didn’t take any dancing lessons. I just changed my thinking. In fact, when I look at it, it’s probably the same process of thoughts that lead me to my sales success. Here’s how :
(1) Expect the Frustration
Trust me, when you’re being challenged with some role or work you’ve previously labeled yourself as having no talent for, the first thing to do is just to expect the frustration. It’ll inevitably bring back the nasty memories of how everyone jeered at you when you were on the stage not knowing what to say, for instance. Your ego is likely to convey that underlying message that you shouldn’t speak in public anymore just to avoid the pain of getting hurt or disappointed again.
Well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Be aware that this is your subsconscious’ way of protecting you. But despite the good intentions, choosing to run away from it is literally putting yourself on dystrophy mode. You’ll never be able to do well in public speaking not because it’s true you lacked the talent but rather because you’ve decided not to give yourself a second shot at it anymore!
(2) Make a Decision & Watch Your Focus Shift
In most of my cases, I realize my frustration and anxiety is at its worse when I’m split on a decision. Whether to take up the challenge or say “no”. The former requires some guts but whenever I do so, the negative energy caused by my frustration soon turned into proactive forces. I’ll start brainstorming ways to alleviate the situation. Such as putting in more effort to practice or research the skill I need to develop.
Strangely at the same time, I’ll find comfort within myself. For example, even though I was worried about affecting the necktie sales, I eventually told myself that my assistance was actually to help my brother-in-law resolve an urgent resource issue, which was far more pressing than a slight drop in Sales.
I find myself focusing on another aspect of the whole situation so much so that it takes the pressure off the results. Think of it this way. Assuming you’ve just taken an examination and the score for a pass is 50 marks. You got 45. If your focus is on passing, I’m sure you’ll feel terrible. But what if your plan is to do better than your previous grade, which was 20 marks? You’ll have achieved 125% improvement, way above what you’ve intended!
(3) Observe > Practice > Review > Practice
When the focus is shifted and the stress to perform is greatly reduced, you’ll gradually build up that self belief that it’s probably not going to be that tough after all. By following up this school of thought with the 4 action steps of observe, practice, review and practice, trust me, you’ll be able to hone the skill that you thought you didn’t have the talent for. Just like what I did to be better in dancing.
After my high school saga, I never really had a chance to dance again. Until my University hostel committee organized a party at a club where we were all invited to the dance floor after the dinner. I was initially reluctant to join them - mainly because I don’t want to embarrass myself - but when everyone at our table popped down to the dance floor, a friend just dragged me by the arm. I didn’t have time to say “no”.
Under the music and shimmering lights, I suddenly realized that everyone was so busy having fun that no one would notice my obscure dance moves! I began to shift my focus. Instead of being conscious about my dance steps, I just concentrate on swaying my body with the music.
And as I did so, I started taking note of how others danced, played copycat a little, review the response from my friend on my moves - well, she didn’t say anything bad - and quickly continued with it. At the end of the day, I was having so much fun that for the first time ever, I felt that dancing wasn’t totally beyond me! As much as I thought it was.
(4) Have Fun In The Process!
Once everything becomes almost second nature to you through your observation, practice, review and continuous practice, what determines if you’ll ever do well in that domain really depends on how much fun you’re beginning to derive from it. Nowadays, I’m usually the one initiating for a chillout at the clubs, occasionally receiving a bonus compliment that I dance quite naturally. And yes, none believed that I used to be so bad in dancing that I had to have remedial lessons.
Do you now enjoy the attention of speaking on the stage? Are you gradually opening up to the idea of breaking ceilings of sales one after another? Will you like to go dancing to the tune of the music and sweating it out again? When you derive a lot of fun and satisfaction from that something didn’t know you could do well it, it will eventually develop an impetus for you to know more, learn more and practice more. That, in turn avalanches your achievement as you become skilled in it.
Though I still face a lot of insecurities in reattempting stuff I used to do badly in - things that I totally felt I wasn’t born with the gift for - such little successes over the years have helped to mitigate that frustration and fear. I know there’s still a chance for me to do well in it.
對於阻礙人們直面挑戰的緣由，一個最常聽到的抱怨就是他們自以爲不具備戰勝挑戰的“X-因子”。通常，這種結論要麼是在經歷過類似的事情上的失敗後得出的要麼就是面對一種全新的事物而使他們無從期待。他們會想“不，我可不再幹了，我以前已經試過，不是失敗了嗎？”，“我不是那塊料”或者“我永遠不可能像他那麼優秀”，所以他們就選擇放棄來避免失敗的尷尬，哪怕是那些只要他們再努力一次就會對他們的生命產生重大意義的事情。
我承認我也是這些抱怨者中的一員。除了以前把判定自己在銷售方面沒有天賦之外，我曾經還常常認定自己是一個差勁的舞者。。。呵呵。在高中的時候，我是學校唱詩班中的一員。在一次海外音樂會的時候，我還選去參加全體女子表演項目。我們要同時唱一小段歌，跳一小段舞。我們中的一些人（包括我自己）很僵硬，以至於在音樂會前，每隔一晚上我們都要去我們的女指導員的酒店房間裏接受矯正訓練！是的，我們那時就是那麼差勁。
現在我和朋友去泡吧的時候，幾乎沒人說我是一個差勁的舞者了。或許你還會認爲我沒有參加過任何舞蹈培訓班。我只是換了一種思維。實際上，當我自己看這件事，我想這種思維可能也會讓我在銷售領域取得成功。方式如下：
(1) 做最壞的打算
相信我，當你面臨一些你已經給自己貼了“無此項天賦”標籤的角色或工作的挑戰時，你只要首先做好最壞的打算就可以了。比如，你會不可避免的回憶起在你不知所措的時候，別人對你的嘲笑。你的內心可能會有一個聲音阻止你再在公開場合演講以避免被傷害或失望的痛苦。
不要爲此自責。這是你潛意識裏自我保護的表現。但是除去這些好的意願，你選擇逃避纔是真正使你心情不好的原因。你再也不能在公衆場合演講了，不是因爲你沒有天賦，而是因爲你不肯再給自己一次機會。
(2) 做出決定 & 慎重考慮注意力的轉移
在我大多數經歷中，我發現在我取消一個決定時，我的沮喪和憂慮會達到最糟糕的程度。要麼選擇面對挑戰，要麼選擇逃避。選擇前者需要一些勇氣。可是每次我選擇直面挑戰時，由於的沮喪而產生的消極能量就會迅速變成積極的力量。於是我就開始以頭腦風暴的方式去是我面臨的處境好轉。比如花更多的精力去實踐，或者研究我需要的技術。同時也很奇怪，我會對自己的行爲處境感到舒適。比如說，儘管我很擔心領帶銷量被影響,我還是會告訴自己，我的助手去幫助姐夫解決一個緊急的原料問題，和銷售量下降比起來，那可重要多了。
我發現自己對整個情況的另外一方面如此專注，以至於清楚了結果帶給我的壓力。不妨這樣想想，設想你只是在參加一場比賽，及格分數是50分。你的了45分。如果你的注意力集中在 “及格”上，我敢肯定你的心情會很糟。但是如果你的目標是超越自己上一次的分數—20分，感覺又會如何？你會覺得自己有了125%的提高，已經超過了你自己的預期！
(3) 觀察 > 實踐 >揣摩 >再實踐
當你轉移注意力之後，壓力就會大大地減小。你會逐漸建立起自我信念，會發現可能建立自信根本就沒那麼難。按照這個思維訓練的4步曲：觀察，實踐，揣摩，再實踐，相信我，你一定會練就你原本以爲自己所沒有的天賦，就像我爲提高自己舞蹈技能時所做的那樣去做。
在高中的傳奇之後，我再也沒有真正擁有過跳舞的機會了。直到我讀大學，學校青年招待所委員會在一個俱樂部裏組織了一個聚會。晚餐後，我們都應邀去了那個俱樂部的舞廳。一開始，我真不願意加入-----主要是因爲我不想讓自己尷尬。但是當我們桌的人都涌入舞廳時，一個朋友抓住我的手臂，我來不及說“不”就被他拽入了舞池。
在音樂聲和閃爍的燈光之下，我突然意識到大家都忙着享受這歡快的時刻，根本就不會有人注意到我不雅的舞姿！我開始轉移我的注意力。我不再緊盯着自己的舞步，而是隨着音樂扭動着自己的身體。
當我隨着音樂舞動的時候，我開始注意別人的舞步，開始模仿，開始觀察朋友對我的舞姿的反應------其實，她對我沒有任何不好評價------我又迅速地繼續這樣的改進方式。最後，我在那天感覺到了前所未有的快樂！我覺得那天的舞蹈是自己的一個真實水平，和我想的差不多。
(4) 享受過程!
通過你的觀察，實踐，揣摩，和繼續實踐，一旦一切都成爲你的第二天性的時候，你在這個領域做什麼樣的決定就真的要取決於你開始從中得到多少樂趣了。如今，我常常是俱樂部裏第一個需要“冷卻”的人類，時不時還能得到誇獎說我的舞跳得自然。自然，沒人相信我曾經舞技爛到要上矯正課的地步。
你現在享受在舞臺上說話所得到的關注了嗎？你逐漸形成了突破銷售量層層困難的想法了嗎？你願意再次隨着音樂舞到大汗淋漓嗎？當你從自己不確信能做的事情中獲得巨大喜悅和滿足感時，那次經歷就會成爲你去做更多瞭解，更多鍛鍊的動力。那也會隨着你技能的嫺熟而打破你曾經的成績。
儘管我現在對重新嘗試我曾經失敗的那些事情-------我覺得自己天生就不是那塊料的事情心存疑慮，這些年所取得的一些小的成功已經幫我減輕了那種沮喪和恐懼。我知道我還有機會去做好它。
